IT'S NOT MY FAULT
So many problems to overcome
Our life became a lie.
You preyed upon my feelings of insecurity
Used it against me
Twisting my words
Until my jumbled emotions laid in a heap
At my feet
In a pool of stale tears.
I tried hard to become your vision
Of a perfect wife
Only to be seen, not heard
No opinions of my own
No feelings against your abuse
Hurtful, spiteful words
Worse than a thousand hits.
At times I've wished for physical abuse
Instead of my terror within.
I took everything to heart
Like you planned me to.
You were the perfect man
And I was just tragically flawed.
A fragmented shell of a person,
Not even a woman
More like a little girl.
Strangers felt sorry for you
While they laughed at me.
You portrayed yourself as a sensitive
Caring man who had tried everything
To keep his marriage alive
Even though you had screwed it up from the start.
Now when I close my eyes at night
I don't cry in silence or huddle in shame
Dreading another day to come of false fronts
And cutting lies.
For although I walked away,
I did not lose my dignity
My head is high.
You made your choice before I came along
To have sex with men
And although you may have blamed me
And my physical attractiveness,
It's not my fault.
You are just a perverted, twisted man
And you will always be.
� Rosalia A. Hendrix